Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Stephanie on The Office!?!

3...2....1....BOOM! Yeah baby! Let's all tune in to watch, again, Stephanie, on yet another highlight show highlighting her, highlighting more of, primarily her. More of that in a minute....

The new show is "Weather Proof", where they take all sorts of projectiles and and crap, blow it up and make believe it's all raining down on your ass. Yeah, I just can't seem to remember the last time I got caught in a 2x4 rainstorm, or had to duck around bowling balls coming thru the walls of my house being spit out of canons at 200 Mph. But hey, this is important, and Stephanie is on it

Well, the smart ones at the WC must have figured another hour removed of actual weather a week, replaced by more Stephanie, is something we're interested in...not. But wait there's more..after Steph and Newt blow crap up, It get's better, stay tuned for The all Mighty Mighty for his own show (with his name in it) "Cantore Stories".

Think of the possible NBC transfers here with the new WC talent bangin' on the door with all these shows. There screamin' "I want to act"!. The all Mighty Mighty is perfect for his own show. You know, Late Night with Jim Cantore. Has a nice ring to it. Give him the 10:00 slot.

Man, then I just still know we're still going to see Conan on the WC and Stephanie on a prime time show. How about The Office? She would be perfect as Dwight's love interest, but as she secretly has a relationship with Michael. Dunder Mifflin corporate will never be the same.

Maybe then Dwight could come over to do the weather? I'm gonna get everyone a new job at NBC!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Conan Coming To The Weather Channel, Al Roker to NBC 10:00 PM?

You thought Conan was finished as an NBC employee? Mabye not. As Conan finishes his last show last night, new opportunities open up for everyone. Conan, Jen-Jen, Stephanie and yes..even you Boringcantore.

Imagine Conan with a late night gig on the WC. The monolouge could be about anything, because the WC is about anything but weather these day's. The sidekick could be Ray Stagich, the main band dude could be Paul Goodloe and for the reporter in the streets doing the stupid stuff could be Stephanie. That would be cool.

Then, mabye Roker could do a Tonight show gig on NBC, taking the 10:00 slot. You gotta have Seidel as the sidekick, the main band dude (in this case, dudette) would be Kelly Cass and her band, Freezefog. This is where the insult dog would wind up, because Roker and the dog would go at it constantly, with the dog winning every battle.

What about Boringcantore, isn't there an upgrade opportunity here for him?? Lets see.... No, why, because your stupid show and self gratification vehicle "Cantore Stories" is on at 10:00PM, opposite the new Roker show. Or, is this becomming the Roker channel?

Friday, January 8, 2010

Get Down Tonight?

According to our good friends at the WC, this here's cheatin' weather! Yup, another chance for us to explore the ties between weather, and infidelity. You know, your important WC update for the day. Tiger, Listen up!

OK, if it's really, really cold outside like it is now around two-thirds of our country, this here is cheatin' weather. That's because it's so freakin' cold outside we all crave warmth. Let's say the spouse or significant other is at work or grocery store or say, off cheatin' themselves. You crave warmth, real warmth...you know, only the kind your furnace can't give. Call up the neighbor and invite them over for a hot cup of chocolate and just let mother nature do the rest. Next thing you know, you're snug as a bug in a .....rug.

Now you know! if it's cold it's cheatin weather. Just like if there is a hurricane bearing down on your ass, get the heck out of town. If there's a tornado about ready to blow you house to smithereens, you hit the basement.

If it's cold, watch out, because you may have a Tiger playing through.

C'mon, it's weather channel. Or, are you giving us hints as to what's really going on in the studio? Hmmmmm!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Al & Spencer, Round 1

As if there couldn't be a better asshole pairing, it's Spencer dissing Al in only the way Spence can. Mabye Al should stay away from TWC and Spencer should stay away from reality TV. Controversy in Al world, some punk kid going after him? Are you kidding me, what a joke (ma bye not)?

Monday, December 28, 2009

All We Need is Orba Squara!

So I woke up this morning and had to go to work after a great Christmas and 4 day's off with the family. I needed to know, you know, what the temperature was. Kinda important since I haven't had to grab the ole' businessman's trench coat in a while, and the temperature usually rises about 20 degrees during the day here, only to drop at night.

I made the mistake of tuning into TWC for a quick, hopeful, catch of Local on the 8's. I have to time this between 3 girls getting ready, so an update before or between the actual 2 minute deal is appreciated. But no, it's a terrorism update, a food update, an Al update on how great he is, another Al update on how great he is, pictures of the NBC Christmas Tree, ice skaters and some guest who was repulsive. All we needed was Orba Squara to round out the show.

We just had a near miss terrorism incident in Detroit, riots are all over Iran, Russia is nuking up, the healthcare bill is about to be jameed down our throat, our government officials deny all that's wrong and claim responsibility for all that's right (thank you Al Gore).......can't we just see 10 minutes of weather? Or, do we just want to relax with it on in the backround and step away from the crazy world? Either way, it's a weather channel dammit!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

WUWU Hunk Off?

How do you spell this stupid promo's name anyway...are you kidding! A contest pitting Bettes against Vladimir Putin and Elmo to see who's the best "Hunk"! What a great GQ picture of "Betman"..not! This is a freakin weather channel and this is the farthest thing from it. How much longer do we have to watch this crap?

Gotta ask who's next? How about Cantore against Rudy Giuliani and Ziggy..they're all bald?

Or about transferring this to the NBC channel....? We could see Matt Lauer against Hugo Chavez and say,..Barney. I give it to the big fat purple guy.

This channel sucks now, we want our weather back!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Gettin' Hammered on The Weather Channel

Beer anyone? Today we saw good ol' Norm from Cheers with Al on the WC. Remember Norm? Well Norm (George Wendt) was pushing his new book "Drinking with George: A Barstool Professional's Guide to Beer". Awesome...OK, here we go..!!

When you check out the book on-line, it tells you where to buy it, author, pages, etc. It also shows excerpts. When you check it out the first two lines they talk about how, back in Chicago in the 50's, it was customary to have your kids go fetch your beer at the tavern down the street, bring it back to your lazy ass, and ya' kept on drinking without leaving your barco-lounger. Talkin' 11 year old's here. Ok, this is the way the Irish Catholics did it, that's cool and that's not what I'm here to talk about. I love beer too.

What I am here to talk about is why the freak is the WC promoting, and interviewing, the author of a book that only has to do with beer and boozin'. What's the weather connection? This is a weather channel that we tune in to for weather, not beer. Better yet, let's lay the course to easily discover how 11 year old's were "used" in the old days to get it. I definatley wouldn't let my kids read this book, they don't even need to know about it. Guess they won't be learning about the weather from the WC anymore either. Great interview Al!

Put it on the food network.... I'm going to have a vodka seven!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Al is Everywhere!

Saw him on MSNBC over the weekend doing a story on not weather, but the drug war. No matter where you go on NBC, you see Al.

Did you know NBC wholly owns Universal Studios Hollywood & Orlando? What's next...."Wake up with Al, The Ride?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Quiet! The Movie's Starting

Yup, the movie. For the first time in the WC's 27 year history they are showing a feature film. This Friday we can all get the popcorn a poppin' and curl up on the couch to watch, on the Weather Channel....The Perfect Storm! You know I'm a askin' why. Let's figure this out together. Hmm.....

Well, first some history. In 1961 and prior, network television films were dated or foreign and didn't attract advertisers. On September 23, 1961, NBC pioneered a huge change with "Saturday Night at the Movies" by receiving updated rights to more recently produced films. Basically, they invented the TV Movie, and did it weekly. OK, enough history.

The Weather Channel is doing the same thing, every Friday night in November, they will have a film. The series will be hosted by Jen-Jen and called "The Weather Channel Presents". Seeeee the NBC strategy coming to play. What's next.....MSNBC "Sunday Night at the Movies"?

OK, so let's say you live in the Snowbelt, or heavy precipitation areas, and you want to plan your Friday night. Do you need a rain coat, jacket, snow boots, you know. Well, if you're like me a head out at about 9 or 10, forget using the WC as your guide, especially this Friday, because the only thing you'll see is the Captain of the "Andrea Gail" guiding you into one hell of a big storm.

It's a weather channel Mates!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Yummy! Today we learned how to make guacamole on the Wake Up With Al Show...awesome! Let's figure out in a minute how this is weather related, but first....let's set the scene:

It's about 6:30 am, chef guy and Al are standing over a huge table of chopped up food and avocado's. Chef guy shows us how to cut open an avocado and pull out the pit with a knife. Then chef guy shows how to scoop out the "meat" of the avocado and puts it all into a bowl. This all takes about 3 precious minutes of my time trying to identify what the weather is going to be like today. He then teases the next segment with "we're going to make 3 different kinds of guacamole" after the break, and it's off to a commercial and another several minutes pass. The sun begins to break the horizon out my window, it's going from dark to light...still no weather.

We come back from the break and it's just a bit of weather and right back to the Food Network...I mean Weather Channel. Now we make 3 different kinds of guacamole and eureka....one of them has pumpkin seeds in it! This must be the weather tie in because Halloween is certainly a weather event, with the trick-or-treating for the kids and all.

So I've seen almost 10 minutes of the WC and most of it has been about food, commercials, and more food. Yeah, there was a little bit of weather, but not just weather.

You know, I just can't think of the last time I woke up and thought"man, I could really go for some Mexican right now"...

That's why we tune in....it's a weather channel!!!!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What's up Jen?

This morning I saw Jen Carfagno on doing the news update, no weather, just news. Glad to see they keep the "old school" weather talent around and make them deliver the hard core, national blood and guts.

Now they have to talk about nuclear war, death, health care, Obama and swine flu and the like. And guess what, somehow...it's all just slightly weather related. Do you have to train for that....or just say something like:
"Today's highs will be so unbelievably freakin' hot, so hot you're skin will peel off, with a low of 1000 degrees. It was also announced today Barack Obama has just gotten the health care bill passed, so don't panic we'll all be OK! Whew, great...now I can get better to croak from the swine flu!

It's a freakin' weather channel!!!!

Monday, October 26, 2009


Welcome to my rant on the Weather Channel and why I think one of America's best channels got screwed up. We'll explore the whole NBC thing, the Stephanie Abrams thing, the Al Roker thing and much, much more.

We'll also note what's going on today, what you saw and want to contribute to our rant (this is your forum to tell us what you think too) It usually doesn't take long for a screw up, stupid comment (usually on the morning show by you-know-who), hearing the strangest music or getting some weirdly timed business update.....it's a Weather Channel dammit!

We'll also do some polls we're sure will get some feathers ruffled, post some cool pic's and throw in some curves along the way. We hope you enjoy, contribute and let's all get the Weather Channel back to being a weather channel. Enjoy!